Saturday, July 17, 2010

A summary of Kody Lawless

Kody Lawless, author of this critically acclaimed blog, is a chick of many facets. She's the hair metal Elvira of the decade, with more makeup on her face than Nikki Sixx on a bad day. She's the culmination of Alice Cooper and Blackie Lawless, with a donation from Tracii Guns and Mr. Sixx himself. Her clothes are black as night, and she's hardly ever seen without her leather jacket. Her boots push her up to 5 and a half feet, with room to spare. Often she slurs her words, laughing at the worst tines. She loves too much and too deep. In fact, she has the Tommy to her Gina, the Sid to her Nancy. He puts up with her crap, making sure she gets some kind of sleep. Her eyes freak many out, as do her prowess with a rifle and her connection to animals. She watches old horror shows, like the twilight zone, religiously. She writes at times, but it's rare. Her forte is history. And war. Her pants cut off the math gene, so she's a bit lost there. Her Tommy often says it's cause of the 'looks that kill'. He can exaggerate a bit....
But most of all she's a Hollywood Vampire, an Electric Gypsy who loves everyone.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Sixxth Chance

Nikki Sixx is my fucking hero.
He's died 3 times, lived to tell about it and touched many lives.
It all started in 7th grade language arts class which is a fancy way of saying Writing class. We were assigned to do a report on a book that reflected a common problem, then report on that. Being the 80's fan I am, I chose to do Nikki Sixx's book and disguise that as drug crimes. You know because I love reading diaries of crack and heroin addicted bass players.
Honestly I had no idea how scary his book is. Not kidding. I thought it would be a little...I don't know. Not this.
And listening to the soundtrack that goes with it? Seriously you will never do weed.

I know Nikki isn't a great rolemodel to most. But I'm never doing drugs, that's for damn sure.

Monday, July 5, 2010

What's in a name?

So, I feel the need to ask this because it's bothering me;
Who came up with these little boyfriend/girlfriend nicknames!?
Seriously! They're so weird, and I feel odd saying sweetie. That just doesn't work, especially for me. And BOO!? What the hel-ck is that!? Rappers, no one uses that, so stop saying it. And shorty is stupid dad actually says it....
Just to re-cap, my family is white.
And baby? Ewwwwww....that only works if you are deaf.
Honey's too sweet too.

So what should we call ourselves?????????

Welcome to the Electric Gypsy

So today I was playing around with iTunes, and I noteced a very sad thing. I spend 17$ on glamrock anthems. Yes, I bought seventeen by Winger. It's weird because instead of sticking to L.A Guns, I bought 3 Cinderella tracks, a band I haven't ever listened to. Then I splurged on Ratt. Even some LA Guns tracks that I've never heard. So I think it is safe to say I was born in the wrong century/decade. And of course the wrong musical period. I think I was a groupie in a past life. Next time I get a moment I will put up the pix of my 80's costume. yes I wore headbands. And if I dare say it, I was a sexy female Tracii Guns. Or Phil Lewis. And my hair won't spike up with hairspray or hairgel so I could not be my favorite Nikki. Sucks! So anyone else a total groupie girl?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Hey sweetie, I really love you! REALLY!

So, as a couple of people have mentioned, I may have been a little harsh in my last post.
But throw me a bone, I'm mad. That fight made me cry like my little sister when she can't have a popsicle...
So first, I'll give you the deets (my mother is screaming, I hear it) and how I really feel.
You're not getting his name. So no asking...yes Lily that means you.
So, it all started with my oldest, most...ok loved is too strong a word...cousin Ryan calling my newly made ex a f*g. So, after this went down, causing my cousin to look actually rather...witty...and he to look...semi EFFING CRAZY, me and him started talking.
You know, maybe-I-should-just-die kind of talking.
And I kind of went off the wall. Started screaming and telling him the usual things.
And then I started talking about just because he got called that, didn't mean he needed to die.
2 hours later my back hurts, my eyes hurt, I want to cry.
BUT, my anger can't exactly hide the whole twitterpated OMG HES SO SWEET feelings.

Which I will write down now. I have no fear!

I love you totally and completly. Which is not fair, you a$$, because that takes up too much emotions. And damn you for bringing them back to the surface,.
You're like my Leonardo DiCaprio, or my Johnny Depp, whatever you want to call it. i'm totally not afraid to talk to you about things, like marriage. Which I haven't but I'm saying, I'm not afraid to.
And dammit you are the only one who thinks my love of Jason Voorhees is cute.


Stupid Genes...

So, My mother's dad's side of the family is notoriously bad with relationships.
My father's side too...
I'm semi-doomed to get 5 divorces, I think. You can't argue with math.

So, let's talk relationships!
Obviously I fail, right. That's what the blog is about, like um, see above.
My last 3 FAILED like Edward Cullen. Just FAILED.
First one I spend 7 months pouring out my heart and soul too, and in return I get cheated on. Then dumped.
Next one just ends like that. I don't even think I knew it was coming. Quite frankly, I'm bad at those signs. You can hint all you want, but I won't get it. Spare me the niceties, eh?
So, the latest lasted 2 weeks. I kind of thought that one would work out. But I get a bullcrap excuse about how not ready for a relationship he is, yada yada, but at least he still cares about me, thus tossing me that little scrap of hope that no dumped girl needs.
Thus ending in a one upping match of me spilling out my little heart and soul but it doesn't matter cause I doubt he gives a sh!t.

I hate falling in love

Look, hair dye!

I'm thinking about my poor poor hair right now.
It must hate me...
What started all this were two blond streaks at the very very front of my hair. (If I had bangs, they would be bangs.
It stayed that bleach blonde for about 2 years.
Enter 8th grade. I dyed my streaks an acid green, which now that its gone, everyone enjoys telling me they hated it and it washed out my face, etc.
My face is pretty much white, you can't wash that out...
So after 2 rounds of acidic green, which unless your hair is black, looks terrible, I went purple.
For Halloween because I'm cool like that.
Everyone liked the purple, so I went red. For X-mas cause I coordinate sooooo well.
If I remember correctly, everyone liked that.
My hair just begged me to let it fade, dear god, let it fade please...
So I dyed it blue. And everyone went mad over that. Lurved it.
After 2 months, it fading, etc, I covered up the streaks and added dark red, NATURAL low lights.
Which worked for my father's wedding, but eh for me.
Enter my now dark brown hair.
I love it.

So, my one maybe 2 readers, what should I dye it next???