Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Best Vampire Movies

So I was thinking about it last night. Okay, last week. And I was thinking about Twilight and how much it sucked, and how it started out as blah blah blah.
And I realized, people don't really know what I think about Vampires and Vampire movies. So here are my top 5 vampire movies of all time.
Bear in mind, these are my favorites, that if I were to go out and rent a movie, I would rent these. I'm sure someone will say Nosferatu or Dracula 2000 was better, but I don't really care.

Number 5: Queen Of The Damned (2002)
So, this is not exactly the greatest Vampire Movie ever. In fact, it's supposed to be the movie version of the book by Anne Rice of the same name. It failed miserably. The only similarities were the fact that the characters names were Lestat, Akasha, Marius and Jessie, and Lestat was a rockstar. The movie totally skips over the pivotal storyline of the book, getting rid of many important characters, and reducing the ones left to...this. Why is this my favorite if it sucks? You ask. Well, the soundtrack is amazing and features original songs. And if you have never read the book, this whole thing totally makes sense. It also has great actors in it. Aaliyah plays Akasha, the Vampire Queen of the Damned. Vincent Perez stars as Marius, (Who unfortunately is but a shadow of the true Marius, and hispanic, while Marius is a blonde Roman.) Perez also stars in The Crow: City Of Angels, which I loved. This also stars Stuart Townshend as the all-important Lestat. As much as I hate Townshend's interpretation of Lestat AS I KNOW HIM, he was good as Dorian Gray in the forgettable yet very good League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
This movie is great because of the soundtrack. And Aaliyah. It's only number 5 because there is one Armand Cameo and Armand is my second favorite character. And Marius is not a hot blonde roman. And the storyline is messed.

Number 4: Underworld Trilogy
So. Underworld. I love these movies. This is one of those movies that tried to take the genre in a whole new direction, and did it well. At least the first two did. The third (Rise of The Lycans) was just a rehash of everything we learned in Underworld part 1. And Part 4 just looks awful. (Spoiler! Michael Corvin, the pivotal, unique character who was the utter FOCUS of the first two films is gone.)
The movie is very interesting. Vampires and werewolves (called Lycans) are at war. Selene (played by the ever sexy Kate Beckinsale) is a Death Dealer, vampire trained to wipe them out. Well, the lead werewolf has a plan. He kidnaps members of the Corvin family, attempting to create a vampire/lycan hybrid. He succeeds with Michael Corvin. In the second installment, Selene tries to expose a corrupt vampire leader to the last remaining elder, and the world goes to hell.
It's hard to summarize these two movies because there are so many plot twists and turns, that it would take me far longer than this blog post to explain it all.
Great movies. At least the first two are. The next two are blights on the very name.

Number 3/2: The Lost Boys
The Lost Boys. What a movie. This features The Coreys, both Feldman and Haim. And...two words...Kiefer Sutherland. This movie may be pure 80's cheese, but it is so fantastic. Brothers Michael and Sam move to Santa Carla, the self proclaimed murder capital. At a beach front concert whatever, Michael sees star, David's(Kiefer) girlfriend. He follows her, leaving Sam(Haim) to meet brothers Edgar and Alan (Feldman and that one kid no one remembers much because he was not a Corey)at the comic book store. They are assigned the whole xplanation thing. And they do it well, cementing their role as the amatuer vampire hunters.
Michael and Star meet up the next night, coincidentally meeting up with David's gang, including Alex Winters (Bill, of Bill and Ted fame.) as Marko, the nameless but totlly hot actor who plays Paul, aka 'that twisted sister vampire!', and, of course, Billy Wirth as Dwayne. Billy and Paul are totally only there to say like one line and prance about in mesh shirts and leather but that's ok, they are HAWT. Seriously, between them, they have one line, and I still totally think they are the most interesting characters like oh my gawd.
Anyway, David and Michael have the whole testosterone fight over Star going on. And in a pivotal scene they hang off a bridge. But before that, David makes Michael eat maggots and drink vampire blood. The next morning, Michael awakens as a half vampire, like Star and the kid that she takes everywhere. The point of this whole thing is you cannot be a full vampire until you take a life. So, words are said between Sam and Michael, Michael almost eats Sam, their mom dates the head vampire of the whole gig, and it's just a funny, cheesy, 80's Vampire movie. With Paul. Who is the only blonde guy I'd totally date.
So this is both my number and 3 AND number 2. Mostly for the mesh shirts and the bridge scene.
Well, that and Paul and Dwayne.

Number 1: Interview With The Vampire
Where do I even begin?? Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, Brad Pitt, Kirsten Dunst! In 19th century New Orleans and Paris!
It was so good, that instead of getting pissed about Banderas playing the 17 year old Russian redheaded painter vampire Armand, I just let it happen.
The summary of this movie is far to amazing for me to write it. It's that good. AND true to the book by Anne Rice.

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