Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by life that I want to just scream.
I want it all to stop for just a moment. Like school.
3 teachers assigned homework over Fall Break. Because I'm really going to remember to do that.
Then I moved downstairs. Meaning all my crap was tossed in my new closet. So after digging for an hour to find my makeup and junk I want, I wanted to just cry. It was SO EFFING MUCH.
And 3 weeks ago, we were made to go to a school play. Only problem is, I had made plans long before the time and dates were up. So, there was no way I could go.
I have a crappy grade in that class, I'm sure.
Then Justin. I am about to strangle him. IF YOU NOTICE I GET DEPRESSED EVERYTIME YOU MENTION YOUR GIRLFRIEND, THAT IS A CUE TO STOP. OK!?
Life goes too fast
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thespians UNITE!!
So, I am in a theater class. High school Intro, but still, I'm in it. And single handedly THE BEST ACTRESS IN THERE.
I revel in it. It is my drug...kidding. But I love being on the stage.
Whenever we're asked to do a project that involves writing a script, and acting with a group, I am the first in demand. please, I had 3 characters ready to go. Before starting the class.
As we speak, I'm writing 2 plays. One inspired by Mr. Sixx, and the other about an insane guy trapped in a hospital with poor treatment, stuck in his own mind. Oh yeah, I'm slick. My teacher read the latter and said it broke her heart. very deep and so on.
So we were asked to do full makeup for our character, any character, like The Joker, then go onstage and do a scene. Mine was from the play I described. So I ratted my hair and made shadows. I get up there, do my impression of a stark raving lunatic, and finish...
STANDING OVATION!!!!
Besides the Oompa-loompas who did very well, I was THE BEST. I say that with no false pretenses...I'm like the Raul Julia of our school. Quirky, yet able to BE the character.
I got one of the leads in the class's play. I'm the only one besides the Oompa's who remembers deadlines.
Man I'm good.
I revel in it. It is my drug...kidding. But I love being on the stage.
Whenever we're asked to do a project that involves writing a script, and acting with a group, I am the first in demand. please, I had 3 characters ready to go. Before starting the class.
As we speak, I'm writing 2 plays. One inspired by Mr. Sixx, and the other about an insane guy trapped in a hospital with poor treatment, stuck in his own mind. Oh yeah, I'm slick. My teacher read the latter and said it broke her heart. very deep and so on.
So we were asked to do full makeup for our character, any character, like The Joker, then go onstage and do a scene. Mine was from the play I described. So I ratted my hair and made shadows. I get up there, do my impression of a stark raving lunatic, and finish...
STANDING OVATION!!!!
Besides the Oompa-loompas who did very well, I was THE BEST. I say that with no false pretenses...I'm like the Raul Julia of our school. Quirky, yet able to BE the character.
I got one of the leads in the class's play. I'm the only one besides the Oompa's who remembers deadlines.
Man I'm good.
boys....
I'll say it. Boys suck. They really do. Boys are like strawberry pudding. No good.
I give you my exhibit A. tyler. The last word in clingy guy. I suppose if you're all into guys who walk you to class and never let you go, then he's great. You know, the training wheel high school boyfriend. But I'm sorry, celebrating week anniversaries? Not so much.
Exhibit B. The last word in FREAKING SCARY. Justin. oh Justin. So sweet and kind...yeah, no. Besides pretending he was possesed by a freaking DEMON. (Yes kids, demon) he is back with his ex. Online. You know. Not so good for my little ego.
Exhibit C. RJ. Yeah...I know he reads this, so I'll be kind. Still into me. Man, it's akward...
Exhibit D. Sora. Kisora-san. THE MOST INSENSITIVE GUY I KNOW. Give him a complicated female problem, like, monthly anger, and he'll say 'don't be angry.' yeah no.
I hate boys.
I give you my exhibit A. tyler. The last word in clingy guy. I suppose if you're all into guys who walk you to class and never let you go, then he's great. You know, the training wheel high school boyfriend. But I'm sorry, celebrating week anniversaries? Not so much.
Exhibit B. The last word in FREAKING SCARY. Justin. oh Justin. So sweet and kind...yeah, no. Besides pretending he was possesed by a freaking DEMON. (Yes kids, demon) he is back with his ex. Online. You know. Not so good for my little ego.
Exhibit C. RJ. Yeah...I know he reads this, so I'll be kind. Still into me. Man, it's akward...
Exhibit D. Sora. Kisora-san. THE MOST INSENSITIVE GUY I KNOW. Give him a complicated female problem, like, monthly anger, and he'll say 'don't be angry.' yeah no.
I hate boys.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
B-day list!
Hooray!
Itunes Giftcards
Hot Topic Giftards
Sephora GiftCards
Best Buy Giftcards
Barnes&Noble/Amazon Giftcards
Or...clothing from....http://www.toofastonline.com/
HOORAY!!!!!!!
Itunes Giftcards
Hot Topic Giftards
Sephora GiftCards
Best Buy Giftcards
Barnes&Noble/Amazon Giftcards
Or...clothing from....http://www.toofastonline.com/
HOORAY!!!!!!!
Friday, September 3, 2010
NEVER AGAIN!
Sooooo...I joined intro to Dance this year, cause I'm cool like that.
I figured MAYBE there would be 4 of us. For 120$ each, I mean, the class could have stayed afloat.
HA! Try um, 30.
But there are 10 of us there for dance and not the credit!!!
So, if you read my mother's blog, or you have me on Facebook, you've seen the fruits of this class.
Yeah, that's all you're getting. I a never allowing filming of my dances AGAIN.
I look white. Very white. Nerdy white. And lord I try not too, but it's HARD.
These dances are not meant for those with no arses or anything resembling a size A chest.
I cannot shimmy. I can hip bump, but that's because I took belly dancing with my mom. I have the most flexible hips in my damn school.
But shimmying my shoulders, AKA boobs? It's not going to happen.
And again, I look rather white. Try dancing hip hop when you do not possess that coordination. It's not fun.
And we are dancing to Jason Derulo, of "Jaaaasoooon Derrrruuuuuuuulo!" fame. Yeah, you've heard it, don't play dumb with me.
And Sean Kingston. Yes, mr. Shawty. He says it an awful lot..
And Taio Cruz! Cause I wasn't flustered enough!!!
Homecoming? I'm not even attempting those moves. Hips, you are back in action! Get to bumping!
I figured MAYBE there would be 4 of us. For 120$ each, I mean, the class could have stayed afloat.
HA! Try um, 30.
But there are 10 of us there for dance and not the credit!!!
So, if you read my mother's blog, or you have me on Facebook, you've seen the fruits of this class.
Yeah, that's all you're getting. I a never allowing filming of my dances AGAIN.
I look white. Very white. Nerdy white. And lord I try not too, but it's HARD.
These dances are not meant for those with no arses or anything resembling a size A chest.
I cannot shimmy. I can hip bump, but that's because I took belly dancing with my mom. I have the most flexible hips in my damn school.
But shimmying my shoulders, AKA boobs? It's not going to happen.
And again, I look rather white. Try dancing hip hop when you do not possess that coordination. It's not fun.
And we are dancing to Jason Derulo, of "Jaaaasoooon Derrrruuuuuuuulo!" fame. Yeah, you've heard it, don't play dumb with me.
And Sean Kingston. Yes, mr. Shawty. He says it an awful lot..
And Taio Cruz! Cause I wasn't flustered enough!!!
Homecoming? I'm not even attempting those moves. Hips, you are back in action! Get to bumping!
My Dark Place Alone
Sick, Am I sick?
And for these last five years I've been stuck up in here.
Inside this brain that drains into society, injected in your veins.
Give me hand grenades, give me razor blades,
give me anything to make the pain go away
Cause these pills don't work, Sometimes they make it worse...
--Murderdolls, My Dark Place Alone
I put my faith in a bottle of pills
Cause it's the only thing that makes me feel...
Like I connect with the human race...
-- Gunfire 76, Something for The Suffering
This month, in a word, sucked.
I'll start by saying that this is NO ONES fault, this is just a combo of my meds failing, and my inherited manic depression.
So, this just kind of starts from about 2 weeks ago? Got a boyfriend. Normal, sweet, had plans, polite...
But I just started high school, serious relationships are not my goal. This guy...oh my god when you start planning out when a kiss is going to happen, do not be surprised if I BAIL.
Then I have homecoming coming up...and I asked the guy I had a crush on, which got crazy confusing and I somehow got a guilt trip...a girl I kind of know...not the most gorgeous girl out there, kind of an outcast...was about to ask him...
And I felt so insanely bad...
On Thursday in health class...we were asked to write down goals. Ok I admit I could have faked this assignment with 'go to college!' 'be a psychologist!' but instead I wrote
dont hurt myself
dont kill myself
It's true, but that creeps out people...
And when you're batshite insane and you get to sit there and hear about the illnesses you have...you get a bit flustered...
And I can't get 3 FEET OF SPACE, can't talk without a flucking INTERRUPTION, people do not just SHUT THE HELL UP...I'm in a class where maybe 4 of us are in there FOR. THE. CLASS. The rest are goof offs who figure EASY A!
Then they ask obvious questions...ASININE, if I may...
Then me and my mom had a fight...and she tells me I cause all the drama in the house...kind of a downer, I'll be honest.
I've been wanting to hurt myself for the past 24, 25 hours? All the guilt I feel over everything will not GO AWAY...and I can't even put into words the shite that is happening!
I'm at the point where I actually want to check out Children's AGAIN....just to know I can have help...and I HATED IT THERE.
Imagine having no contact with people...and all you need is a flucking hug...
That's how it was there.
So, I don't know. It's ok now but what about tomorrow?????
And for these last five years I've been stuck up in here.
Inside this brain that drains into society, injected in your veins.
Give me hand grenades, give me razor blades,
give me anything to make the pain go away
Cause these pills don't work, Sometimes they make it worse...
--Murderdolls, My Dark Place Alone
I put my faith in a bottle of pills
Cause it's the only thing that makes me feel...
Like I connect with the human race...
-- Gunfire 76, Something for The Suffering
This month, in a word, sucked.
I'll start by saying that this is NO ONES fault, this is just a combo of my meds failing, and my inherited manic depression.
So, this just kind of starts from about 2 weeks ago? Got a boyfriend. Normal, sweet, had plans, polite...
But I just started high school, serious relationships are not my goal. This guy...oh my god when you start planning out when a kiss is going to happen, do not be surprised if I BAIL.
Then I have homecoming coming up...and I asked the guy I had a crush on, which got crazy confusing and I somehow got a guilt trip...a girl I kind of know...not the most gorgeous girl out there, kind of an outcast...was about to ask him...
And I felt so insanely bad...
On Thursday in health class...we were asked to write down goals. Ok I admit I could have faked this assignment with 'go to college!' 'be a psychologist!' but instead I wrote
dont hurt myself
dont kill myself
It's true, but that creeps out people...
And when you're batshite insane and you get to sit there and hear about the illnesses you have...you get a bit flustered...
And I can't get 3 FEET OF SPACE, can't talk without a flucking INTERRUPTION, people do not just SHUT THE HELL UP...I'm in a class where maybe 4 of us are in there FOR. THE. CLASS. The rest are goof offs who figure EASY A!
Then they ask obvious questions...ASININE, if I may...
Then me and my mom had a fight...and she tells me I cause all the drama in the house...kind of a downer, I'll be honest.
I've been wanting to hurt myself for the past 24, 25 hours? All the guilt I feel over everything will not GO AWAY...and I can't even put into words the shite that is happening!
I'm at the point where I actually want to check out Children's AGAIN....just to know I can have help...and I HATED IT THERE.
Imagine having no contact with people...and all you need is a flucking hug...
That's how it was there.
So, I don't know. It's ok now but what about tomorrow?????
The lights are on, but no ones home...
So this month, the new Murderdolls cd and the Al. B. Damned debut cd came out.
I'm poor so I only have snippets...but I love it.
Wednesday...(the lead singer of Murderdolls) he just...I can identify with him. So much.
Our pills dont work anymore for either of us.
So get ready for like 5 posts in one night, ok guys?
I'm poor so I only have snippets...but I love it.
Wednesday...(the lead singer of Murderdolls) he just...I can identify with him. So much.
Our pills dont work anymore for either of us.
So get ready for like 5 posts in one night, ok guys?
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